LA has a secret that I want to unlock.
That’s exactly how I feel about this city. After two months of living here, I’ve barely scratched the surface. I visited California for the first time and knew I wanted to come back. So I did - two weeks later. I had two beautiful months to make it work with an opportunity to live rent free, and I barely scraped by.
I have learned new levels of lows, of hopelessness, of being broke, of feeling defeated, of stopping mid-thought and questioning it all. I have been on 18 different interviews, trying my best to make an impression. I have taken buses, walked miles, taken trains, answered calls, responded to emails, gained friends, lost friends and reached out to everyone I know. Apart from standing on a corner holding a cardboard sign screaming HIRE ME, I have done everything I can think of.
And it wasn’t enough, (this time).
Whether it’s the job economy in the summer months, the city itself, my unique resume, my lack of a formal plan, my limited experience and network, my diminished bank account, whatever it was - my introduction to LA was tough. No one told me a city could be so unkind to me. Yet, I’m still truly captivated, and not just by the weather.
My lack of job here is not for lack of daily effort. It's as simple and as complicated as nothing aligned for me, in the window of opportunity I had. I treasure these "failures." They have brought me growth, a hard skin and a newfound hunger to succeed. When you move to a new city, you can be anyone you want to be, and still, I am myself. That's special. My talent will not go to waste. I am not totally broken by my unfruitful job hunt.
The bottom line - LA reeks of opportunity.
I saw the Entourage movie by myself in the theatre opening weekend and burst out crying when I saw the scene that was filmed down the street from my (now previous) apartment. There is a magic to LA, much like other big cities, but still its own special brand. You never know who you are going to run into, what you are going to discover, what may happen next.
I’m going to the mountains to regroup for a couple of months in Denver, and then I’ll be back. I've learned we all have our own paths and methods to our madness. There is no "right" way to do things, you just have to take the risk and do things your own way, no matter how unconventional it may seem. If you want something, you will find a way to make it work. I want to write, grow with a company, go to events, meet all sorts of people and keep my voice strong throughout it all. I am adaptive, passionate and interested - I want to see this adventure out fully. I want to get to work and advance my career. I will make it work.
We have unfinished business, Los Angeles. I'll see you this fall.